Just something I wrote a year ago against rabid anti-Americans who sound like extreme right-wingers, only to the other side. I was more right-wing then than I am now, but I still agree with everything here.
1. When something goes wrong, always blame America.
2. Quote and misquote any saying you can find of a high American official (preferring presidents, especially widely revered presidents) about civil rights, the state, foreign affairs, etc.
3. Examine only one side of the equation: the anti-American side.
4. Denounce any American attack on foreign counties as World Police, terrorism, etc.
5. Hail any foreign attack on America as resistance, heroism, counterterrorism, etc.
6. Mention the International Court as the legitimate solution to terrorism. Don't mention that terrorists have no diplomatic stance, or any diplomatic possessions to lose.
7. Refer to attacks on America as terrorism if and only if it suits you.
8. Describe anti-Americanism as a result of obsessive capitalism. Don't mention that America is not near as capitalist as Russia or India, which are much less despised.
9. Say that you believe that America is just equal to other nations, but behave as if it is vastly inferior.
10. When a nation (other than America, naturally) agrees with America, blame the latter's intimidation.
11. Insist that no American is truly innocent, except for other Chomsky fans (and Chomsky himself).
12. Denounce modern society as decadent.
13. Appeal to conservatives by talking about decaying morals.
14. Appeal to liberals by talking about freedom and civil rights.
15. Always refer to capitalism as equal to corporatism.
16. Talk about the evils of government. Except when you are running it.
17. Sound as anti-Semitic as you can. Especially if you are a Jew yourself.
18. Confuse your anti-Semitism with anti-Zionism.
19. Deny the Holocaust but only in places no average American will search, especially in non-English papers.
20. Deny that you're a Holocaust denier, anti-Semite, etc.
21. Quote and misquote the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.
22. Attack Israel for what it does to the Palestinians. Don't mention that the Palestinians blow up cafés, buses, etc.
23. Bear in mind that the ultimate goal regarding religion is the destruction of Christianity and Judaism (Islam is okay), but don't say that as long as you can get Christian or Jewish followers.
24. Oppose missionaries of all kinds, except yours.
25. Oppose the use of violence to achieve one's goal. Except when it's your goal.
26. Sound as relativist as you can, until one's talking about your particular opinion.
27. Attack the media for being biased.
28. Whenever the facts stand in your way – blame the media.
29. Whenever a person argues with you – blame him for being brainwashed.
30. Treat anything that isn't in accord with you as an instrument of oligarchy.
31. When someone uses academic arguments to attack yours, accuse intellectuals of being elite that uses science to control the masses. Make an exception of Noam Chomsky, of course.
32. Ignore intellectuals unless they agree with you.
33. When attacked for being inconsistent misquote Victor Hugo's "Only the ox is consistent."
34. Insist that government by definition imposes the will of the few on the many. Don't mention that you agree with the idea, but want to be included in the "few."
35. Support legalization of all drugs, while accusing key American officials of being drug addicts.
36. Repeat arguments again and again; it might wear people who argue with you out.
37. Stone McDonald's branches, even though you know it doesn't help at all.
38. Insist that only a true anarchist can understand anarchism.
39. Use circular logic whenever possible.
40. Insist that you're a liberal even though you're not.
41. Sound communist but insist that you aren't a one.
42. Confuse communism with socialism; the latter isn't so infamous.
43. Confuse political and economic globalization.
44. Misquote Stiglitz regarding globalization.
45. Regard every bust as a victory.
46. Be a Social Darwinist if and only if it suits you.
47. Read only Noam Chomsky's writings, or else you'll discover that he grossly misquotes.
48. Confuse Chomsky’s right to speak his mind with his right to force everybody to believe as he does.
49. Use as many references as you can, because most people won't bother looking them up.
50. Associate with Neo-Nazis and confuse that with caring for their freedom of speech.
51. Deliberately forget the idea that democracy deserves protection like any other form of government, even though in this case the protection is usually from outside the system.
52. Learn your rhetoric from Mein Kampf.
And last and probably the most important: phrase your arguments in the most popular way so that every 17-year-old can refute them in 5 minutes per argument without trying too hard.
